Friday, October 31, 2008

Look at those chubby cheeks!

isn't he so sweet.. i can't wait to hold him!


Here is the email I received today :O) Our agency only mails "paper" to China on Fridays - we have been waiting for this Friday!

"Hi Jill and Bob,
I am writing to confirm that I have received and processed your Letter Seeking Confirmation. Congratulations!
Your signed LSC will be mailed to China today October 31, 2008. Once the CCAA receives it - it should take approximately two to three weeks for the CCAA to send us your Travel Approval.
Your journey to your child is almost complete! I just wanted to take this time to again say that it has been such a pleasure working with you and getting to know you during this time. Stephanie and I feel honored to have been a part of bringing your family together. Although you are moving on to the travel phase - please know that Stephanie or I are always here to assist you and answer questions. We can wait to hear about your travels and stories about your child. Also, don't forget those pictures when you return!
Have a great day!"

Please be in prayer for our LOA getting to China! And for a super quick turnaround both with TA coming and receiving a CA. I really want to be back for Christmas. :O0
Also, for our airline miles to work.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

have you heard of this?

our daughter Sarah Grace loves the movie "agent Abbey". It is about a christian teen who goes to Chi*na with her dad (he is a photojournalist). There she learns about persecuted Christians in Chi*na. It is a great story and brings the truth of what is going on, on her level.
She asked to find more Agent Abbey movies, which I am still researching but stumbled on this tidbit of info and wanted to share :O)
Everyone probably knows about Netflix right? Well this is the same thing but completely "clean" movies :O)
have fun picking out your next family flick!
Yea for clean movies!!

Monday, October 27, 2008

waiting... :O)

Today we should have the paper (LOA) that we need to sign. And then we will quick turn it back to TX!
I will post a photo once it arrives :O)

Please pray for timing of Christmas. I just found out that our agency ONLY mails items to China on Fridays.. evidently lots of agencies do this practice (talking to friends with other agencies).. GEESH. What is up with that? :O(
We are really going to be pushing the envelope to be back for Christmas.
Scenarios? LOA mailed to China on 31 Oct. Arrives 3 Nov (b/c of weekend).
2-3 weeks to TA (praying hard, this seems to be the trend - timeline and the praying)
So TA perhaps between the 17 - 28 November???? IF so then Travel is 3ish weeks from that.. 8ish to 18thish..
If we are back home from China by 22 our plans for girls will still work. IF anything after than that.. not sure.. maybe take them? and just put travel on our credit card?? yuk.
God is in control and He will work it all out according to His perfect time and plan. thank goodness!
**** UPDATE***
Fed Ex just came and as I heard his truck.. I ran outside :O) kids were eating lunch and YEA its here it's here.
When Bob signs it, I will take a photo and post :O) YEA YEA YEA
It is official- we are accepted as Drew's parents!!! YEA YEA YEA only two more pieces of paper to sign [TA & paperwork in province] before he is a Shelton (at least on paper- b/c he already is in our hearts)!!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

lack of self control

that is exactly what is going on in our house today! Lack of self control, PURE excitement, PURE laughter and LOTS of jumping up and down. oh.. yea.. and LOTS of HAPPY TEARS!!

Praise be to God! we have RECEIVED OUR LOA!!!!!!!!!! YIPPEE

Proverbs 25:25
"Like cold water to a weary soul, So is good news from a distant land."

Our agency thinks we will go the first week in December! That means that we will be HOME with ALL our children by CHRISTMAS!

And this is for anyone who is tracking numbers :O)
CCA*A signed our papers yesterday. So these numbers are yesterdays.
LOI 125
LID 111
PA 104

Monday, October 20, 2008


did i forget to mention that 'she' took 6 inches off my locks? i asked for shoulder length hair..I envisions, clean lines, and a peak thing in the front just like the lady who was cutting my hair. this is what i got.. about 3 inches PAST my shoulders.. not even with my chin but my jawline! YIKES> oh well, it grows back. And bob loves short hair..

here was the reactions of the children

Sarah smiled and said, 'i love it'

Sophia SQUEALED 'you look like a Chinese girl, just like me'

Daniel sadly said, ' where is your hair, what am i suppose to brush' then cried. oops.

lady bugs are raining down

Although we don't believe in the "ladybugs mean lucky". It is fun to take part in t

he adoption community (China's) things to pass our time.. One is getting excited about seeing ladybugs. Before we ever had China on our hearts, both Sarah and my MIL LOVE and I don't me love but LOVE ladybugs. So it was fun to see that connection. Then with this "match" to Drew, on referral day, we saw ladybugs (granted not real ones but a "very" pregnant lady and her TWO year old that was dressed head to toe in ladybugs. SO on Saturday, it felt like ladybugs were RAINING down on us. I like to get Bob going most days and ladybugs are one of the ways :O). However, he walked up to me and said, "wanna take my picture?" I said, uumm okay sure ;o). Then he had this cheesy grin, and I knew something was up.. was I about to be punked? BUT I saw her.. the ladybug on him.. that wouldn't leave! It crawled ALL over him. It was a beautiful sight.

The one photo of Daniel and I is priceless. but man have I gained some weight.. Today starts my "healthy" eating again. Today I will start Sout*h Be*ach again. I have to stay healthy for my children. Rememeber, my dad just had quad by-pass. (he is doing great by the way).

and did you see the "handwashing" photo inthe last post.. heheheh had to put that one in there.. germ freak.

The one with Corn stalks is just a lesson on corn.. :O)

Daniel just walked up to me and said, "I heart you mommy" and made a heart with his hands on his chest. Then he said, i love you so much. .. YEA.

Pumpkin Patch part 2...

Here are some more photos of our fun weekend!

sorry you have to turn you head.. hehehe

Pumpkin Patch Fun times 2!

We went to A, umm I mean two pumpkin farms.. this weekend.

The first claimed great pony rides.. okay we are sold. We went to Overland Park and HUGE disappointment. Because they were having a huge "party" that we could PAY to go to that night, no ponies.. Sarah cried. I don't blame her. I wanted to too. The kids were really looking forward (all week) to ride a pony for 5 whole minutes.

God is so sweet. Yes, sweet. Sarah collected herself and I offered to go into the "park" (the most commercialized pumpkin patch i have ever seen).. They should just name it a petting zoo. Anyways, the kids enjoyed seeing a couple animals and I broke down and gave them quaters to get that nasty pellet machine to spurt out germs to fed the goats... Then we were trying to take a long far off shot of the ponies. A college age girl came up and asked if she could help us. I told her the story and she said, come with me.. So although the kids didn't get a pony ride, they did get to pet the horse and ponies.

Thank you God for caring so much that you put balm on my daughters heart.

The next day we went to Westo*n Red B*arn Farm. It too was a bit commercialized but we LOVED it. Sarah said, now THIS is a real Farm. :O)

We had pony rides, a tractor pull to the patch, picked pumpkins and a treat in the "store"... a 50 cent lollipop :O)

Enjoy the photos. This is my favorite season. I love being on farms (germs and all) and my kids had a great time.

out of the mouth of babes

This morning BEFORE my coffee, dear sweet Sarah asked, "mom are you 39 or something".. after I gently placed my hand on my hip with the unbrushed hair and teeth.. said "Noooooooo I am 38" with a smile.
THEN she said, "ooooooooohhhhhh you are so close to 40!"


I remember when 30 was old.. now 40 is looking young :O)

Sunday, October 19, 2008

IF you see this- find me!

Doing a call out for some soy!

If anyone sees this item in the stores - please let me know. I discovered it last year and it is YUM-O.

Sophia is lactose intolerant and I love getting this soy to make Pumpkin pancakes, cookies, and breads for her! This year I will buy a lot and make then freeze.


Oh, it is called Silk Pumpkin Spice (Soy). If another brand is out there, that is fine too!

Saturday, October 18, 2008

many faces of sweet sophia..

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beginning of the swell.. :O)
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I have received a few private emails regarding a comment I put in my 100 things list.. the almost dieing part. I am posting a couple photos of the "last incident". I woke up one morning with a horrible zit right under my nose.. it was so hurtful. So I tried to put hot compresses on it.. then ofcourse tried everything to get rid of it. I couldn't. The next day, my lip and gumline were numb. OUCH. So I went to the doctor and they tried to "lance it" or "pop it" and it didn't work. SO painful. So they called to a local dermo guy and they said "what are we suppose to do? no she can't come in". At this point, within hours, my lip looked like the photo posted here. Seriously, it was huge. Bob was making quaking sounds at me (yes, that is his sick sense of humor). The doctor (that originally saw me) called and asked how I was (this was the following day) and I started crying saying that it was even bigger and it hurt so bad. I couldn't eat or drink (yes i tried and the fluid from the drinks kept going down the front of me.. So a friend suggested drinking through a straw.. on the side of my mouth.. it was crazy times.
She called up to Christiana, DE and the PLASTIC SURGEON said he would take a peeksy. So up we drove, 45 minutes.. and had a babysitter for the girls (Daniel was not home yet). Walked in and whoa.. they started taking all kinds of instruments out.. hold ON a MINUTE.. nope.. in went this ENORMOUS needle.. and I made a joke that my face was already numb.. no need for a shot. By this time my ENTIRE face was HUGE and swollen and did I say HUGE. ?? I was in a lot of pain. HE SLICED my face.. okay back up.. HE lifted up my lip. I started to cry, and then swoosh. He cut the entire lip, underneath from side to side,... goosh.. out came the infection.. more than you wanted to know? it's not over yet baby!
HE ADMITTED me to the hospital! WHAAAT? Seriously? Seriously?! So the awesome hospital said, I had to wait two hours before I could get a bed.. oh brother.. We left, went to TJ Ma*x and bought some socks, fleece pj's (I get really cold) and a HUGE MILKSHAKE :O). After wasting time we went back and I got my own room.. at the end of a hall.. hhmm umm what is going on? I was in Quarantine! Really! Until my results came back.. they had to make sure i stayed away from everyone.. thinking that it was Merca.. (it wasn't). So here I was, of sound mind and activity level, yet confined to my private room. OH did I mention, just a couple days before, I asked Bob to take the kids to his moms for the weekend so I could get the house in shape (closets and change out the kids clothes for the new season). Go figure. Well, I wanted a weekend and that is what I got.
Okay, so swollen face and nothing and I mean nothing to do. I didn't have my bible, computer, and we were 45 minutes away from our church and friends.. geesh.
The next morning Bob brought my laptop and bible. whew. The first night I was antsy and a little unnerved b/c i had so much to do at home.
The rest of the time there, almost a week, I was relaxing and convinced that God wanted me to rest. SO I did. My plastic guy (isn't that so vain to say! heheh) invited the infectious disease doc in to my room.. okay now i am "freaking out" but holding it together infront of them. They are sweet doc's with great bedside.. so they come in and say "you don't have Merca (praise God) but you do have to stay here until your face is better... the meds weren't working so they changed them up a bit. I was getting meds from the IV's. So this new med, BURNED my veins so bad they had to give me new IV lines in NEW veins every 3 to 6 hours.. OUCH. but they worked.
When the plastic guy came in.. my face was draining and not as swollen. HE turned white and said, I am so thankful. If those meds didn't work, you could have died. " SAY WHAAT? He proceeded to tell me that the "doc's" thought the infection had a good chance of going into my BRAIN !
I thought this dude, I mean Doctor was joking. Clearly he was not. He just breathed like he was holding it all night..
Okay, so the moral ?? don't pop zits that are in your triangle.. nose being the tip and under your eyes being the other sides... an upside down triangle.
You just never know.. I praise God for the meds working, the doctor taking me in at closing that day, and God giving him widsom on how to treat me.
Okay so that was the latest episode..
My poor husband has gone through so much.. :O) Praise God he loves me and sticks by me :O)
This photo shows my lip but not the side of my face that looks like a puffer fish.
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Oh, this may be a more appropriate photo :O) look at my sweet babies .. minus one .
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I am trying/playing with photos in Picasa tonight while I watch Boston BEAT Va Tech! ouch.. Bob and I went to VA Tech and it is PAINFUL to watch them LOSE!
Here is a sweet photo of me and Daniel, Geo-caching. If you haven't tried it , it is a must. So much fun.
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Friday, October 17, 2008


there are so many things that i want to say.. how do i say them? so hang on here we go.. my past two days.
Last night as Bob got in his truck to go out hunting, the "check engine light" came on.. geesh. I told him to not worry about it :O) and just go.. he did but that night we dropped off his truck to be "fixed" the next day.
Today I received the call that not only once brought me to tears and my knees but twice.
1647$ is the total to fix his truck. say WHHAHAAAT? I cried. I said, but we are adopting and that is so much. (i have a habit of blurting out private info! ) He said, i am so sorry but that is the total. okay, thank you.
I cried, I prayed. I sat in a stupor.
Bob's truck is paid off. We had purchased a couple years ago an extended warranty.. it ran out in June (found out in the phone call). go figure.. however, how could God show his hand if the warrenty was still in effect?
I had an excellent conversation with Charlene or she and I built each other up for the day and had some laughs.
I went blogging and was reading some blogs.. we all seem to be in the same boat. I felt sad. We all need those last thousand dollars to bring home our children. At Stef's blog she has raised 17 thousand for her adoption and now has raised over 5 thousand for her sister. God is good.
At Kathy's blog she has raised over 200 for her adoption and desperately needs more. Please go read her story.
So here I was praying about money and the phone rang. Literally. It was the service man and he started talking.. Ms Shelton, I can't get a hold of your husband. i left word (at this point i sat down and held my breath - how much more is he going to add on ??) Then James said, " i found a way to knock OFF $516 dollars from your bill.
I lost it. I started to sob. still am. He says are you okay.. I said i am better than okay. th th thannnkk you soooooo much. this means sooooo much..
He then couldn't take my sobbs and heavy breathing so he said "okay ms shelton, i will call you when it is done"
Are you just in awe ? I am.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

airline miles and prayers

I would love to ask for prayer and parting of miles (on Northwes*t).

Bob and I have finally enough miles to fly for free (thankyou God!). We would love to have you all pray that the airline allows us to use those miles. We have enough miles for Northwes*t.
I was just on checking prices and OH NO, if we do go in December the ticket prices are already at 2 -3 THOUSAND. YIKES. We still have to buy a round trip for Daniel and a one way for Drew (b/c he is 2).
Please pray for people to donate A LOT of airline miles for Daniel (he doesn't have any and we need 60K) and if we don't get the needed miles, somehow get the money and/or the prices go back down...

For those that might wonder why Daniel is going .. it really is a long story BUT here is the short version..
Daniel was adopted at the age of 31 mos (2 years and 7 months). We left on Jan 26 2007. We were matched the previous July (06). As we waited, Daniel spent his time in foster care.. so we thought.. In August he had palate surgery (yep after we sign the papers and they NEVER told us.. )
From Octoberish time frame until Jan (3ish months) he was moved between the Foster home and the SWI.. when either he or his foster mother (who had raised him since he was one month old) melted down or couldn't deal with being away from each other.. they reunited them... and so the story goes that he went back and forth MANY times... Of course we didn't know this until after .. so as you can imagine, my child was a wreck. He didnt' know about permanency and was constantly "looking" for his new mom and place to stay. He became angry with me and took it out on the girls (his sisters).. after several months of this and his behaviour escalating (waking up or staying up in the middle of the night and would go in to attack, yes attack his sisters.. usually Sophia). It began to affect our entire family.. and the girls were petrified of him. Bob and I were "prepared" for attachment and with my formal background I was very prepared. However, sometimes love just isn't enough and everything we tried didn't work. At the time BCS had a Christian Adoption Trauma Counselor and one day I just broke. I cried and couldn't breathe. Bob said, call the agency and see how we can help him. Bob said, we adopted him, he is our son and God gave him to us. He is staying. But we need to figure this out with some help. So I called and long story short we were seeing her soon. She said, most folks say "typical boy behaviour " and other typical behaviours and then when the child is 8 or 12 they are so angry that the entire family is in big trouble.. anyways, in our first FIRST session,, Daniel looked at me and said, "Mommy you broke my family. I hate you."
I looked right at him and said "daniel, that is okay. I have enough love for us both". and tried my hardest to not let the tears forming inmy eyes to drop and form a puddle he would really like to jump in.
the therapist said at the end of that session daniel really was bonded to me but he also was afraid to get hurt again (from the situation in China). She gave us lots of information- some we had, some we had already tried and then AHA some we never tried.. one was reading certain books on adoption about the mom staying forever. Daniels favorite book to this day is "momma mine, momma mine". Our book reading is our bonding time. He is one active boy but i can settle him everytime with a book :O)
We also went back (again) to me doing everything for him,.. dressing him, bathing him, serving his food, cutting his food, brushing his teeth.. ect. even things beyond the basic needs. He also went back in a higchair and a gate on the door at night with a monitor on in his room.
We pulled him from his preschool class (we only put him in there b/c sophia was in there and he was in preschool in china and really wanted to keep his schedule as normal as possible0. Once he was back home with me duringtheday, life was slowly getting back to normal. our normal. Here is the other thing, I stopped loving on daniel. it breaks my heart to say that. but i did. he was hurting our family and i started to build a wall. I still loved him but i began to build my own wall. it was daniel that one day asked, 'mommy why don't you kiss me on the lips?' You see, I didnt' realize i stopped. from that day forward I felt incompetent. I felt small.I felt guilty. So I started to pray. Bob prayed over me. I wrote on my mirror his name. I wrote daniel. so that every morning I would see his name and ask God to put in me a love for him that he [God] had for me and him[daniel]. Every night I saw his name and again would pray.. soon, i was praying throughout the day for him, for me to love him the way God loves us when we are hurting and broken. Daniel was broken. His heart was all over the floor and it was our job to wait until God put his pieces back together again.
God has been faithful to His child. both me and daniel. His heart is healing. He loves me openly and fully. I love him like a mommy should love their first son. He is my precious baby and I am so in love with him. God is SOOOOO good.
Where is Daniel in the whole scheme of things? He "knows" that I am his mommy. He love s me. But there are times when he ask other women to go home with them. He wonders if truly I am here for the long haul. So everyday I have to prove I am here for the long haul. and that is okay by me. I know it is what he needs and I am more than willing and wanting to give him that assurance. Our move here created some anxiety in him. He asked us, "when you move, do I get to come too" he had some tears and I lost it. I cried and cried and held him. I told him" you are a Shelton now and forever. You will Always come with us and we will never leave you. You belong to this family now. this family is your family."
NO child should EVER wonder if they get to go too.. I still tear up when i tell that story. God continues to give us little glimpses into Daniels heart and I praise Him for answering those prayers.
Once we got here, after the move, things REALLY started to get better.
I know we have a Loooooong way to go. So the conclusion of this short story :O) is that we feel and have prayed about it. We feel that daniel should go with us. TWO weeks without me may just send us back to the beginning! So whether the money/mileage comes or not, daniel is coming with us. perhaps it will show him the adoption of his brother and solidify our adoption of him.
We didn't plan for this adoption. We planed for Daniel. So again, like with Sophia's adoption, God is showing us that He will provide. Everytime we have needed the money, God provides. God planned this adoption. God is written all over this adoption of Drew.
My good friend Karen, thought it would be a good idea to put the airline mile plea out here.
please pray for us and if you want, you may put us out there in bloggy land for the miles.
thanks and there is more to the story (like everyday life with a child that hates you and also loves you at the same time). You can email me anytime if you want more or need more.
I partly didn't want to put it out there b/c i didn't want others to shy away from older adoptions, but then we shouldn't hide this either.. i felt so alone when we were going through it.. no one should feel alone. we are here to support each other. :O) And God can work it out. I know that sometimes it isn't the answer too. What I am saying is that for our family, we were not disrupting. I know this is a touchy subject, i don't want anyone to think that i am judging b/c we chose to keep our son. God makes different plans for different families. there is no right or wrong in this. it is a personally, family decision. okay, just felt like i needed to say that.
Daniel is a blessing to my heart , our family and I know God has blessed our family through our obedience. He has blessed us with Daniel. I am so humbled to be his momma.

100 things edited...

Hi Karen.

Monday, October 13, 2008

100 things about me... oh brother!

1. I am dieing to cut my hair short but am too chicken.. my husband loves short hair- weirdo
2. i love my jeans or khakis paired with a long sleeve fitted T (my husband says that is NOT a style? whaaaat you say? huh?)
3. I dislike wearing make-up but sold Mary K*y successfully for 4 years (i just stopped - my vision changed)
4. I lost 65 pounds 4 years ago and kept it off until I was waiting for our son Daniel to come home... gained back 25...
5. I tipped the scales at 215 the week before I delivered our first born..
6. I have never had a lot of close friends.. just lots of acquaintances
7. I have had 4 miscarriages, that included 5 babies (twins) and loss 2 domestic adoptions.. one child in our home for almost a year (totaling seven children)
8. I am a germ-a-phobic BIG TIME
9. My favorite thing to say is "Seriously?? Seriously?" you have to say it twice.
10.I wash my hands at least 10 times while cooking or baking. and hand sanitzer the other 50 times...
11. I can't stand cats. probably b/c they close up my throat and i can't breathe.
12.I had a water baptism at 12 y/o when I lived in the Philippines. My nanny led me to the Lord.
13. 4 months after (see #12) my parents split up. I lost both my earthly father and Heavenly - b/c I stopped believing/trusting in His goodness.
14. at 14, I was angry.
15. at 15, I got a new dad (my stepdad). He is great by the way.
16. at 16 I started changing my life around. Then there was Tara (my new best friend!enough said - hehehe we still talk)
17. at 17, Decided to go to college and I left my "old" friends. First long term boyfriend that my best friend hated.. go figure.
18. at 18, I actually graduated and was accepted into college.. my parents moved to California.. we were in Va and that is where I went to college. I never went home - to live- again.
19. I have had every hair color known to man.
20. I studied and graduated with a BS degree in Psychology and Criminal Justice.
21. I worked night shift as a Mental Health Counselor in a Psych Hospital for almost 3 years. I loved it!
22. I started attending church b/c the guy I dated went to church. THANK YOU to him. (not talking of my husband...)
23. I taught kindergarten in an inner city school and LOVED it.
24. I started attending Va Tech for graduate school.
25. I met Bob there and we were engaged 9 months later... that lasted 2 1/2 years.. thanks mom Shelton... geesh. - just kidding :O)
26. Bob is three years YOUNGER than me.. hehehhe
27. At the age of 21 I called my dad - my bio dad. I hadn't spoken to him since I was 12ish. It was the beginning to heal a broken relationship.
28. I was an officer in the Air Force.. in charge of a 200 million dollar vehicle fleet on a F-15 AF base.
29. I fell out of an airplane, off the ramp while loading a plane.. hey, it was 3 am whatdaya expect?
30. I was a trained and certified load master :O) it wasn't my main job but man was it fun.
31. I rode in an F-15 strike eagle at Seymour Johnson AFB for being awarded Officer of the Quarter. it was a two hour practice combat/sorty mission.
32. I puked and then dry heaved for 1 hour and 40 minutes of that ride (see #31) and was green for 2 days. a new found respect for them...
33. I love to take classes. I am addicted to them. any type of class.
34. i had four years of infertility. then 4 years of getting pregnant but not able to hold a pregnancy.. go figure.
35. I am thankful for those days b/c they brought me to the Cross.
36. At 29 years of age, I surrendered to the Lord and started living my life for Him.
37. I attended my first bible study that Fall. :O) Hooked on b/s ever since.
38. 6 months after falling in Love with Jesus, I got pregnant with Sarah. On new years eve.. in my mothers house .. eeeww a little gross. eh?
39. I haven't drank any alcohol since I found out I was pregnant with Sarah in jan 2000. I don't desire it.
40. I home school our children and love it. what was taking me so long! i am on our third official year.
41. I love China and the people of China.
42. We were licenced foster parents in 2 states. Not a day goes by that I don't think of the children that came to our home.
43. I love orphans. not that they are orphans but my heart loves them as Jesus loves them.
44. I am crazy in love with bob.
45. I am completely in Awe of "adoption". Both how God has adopted us into His family and then handpicks each child into our earthly families. I also believe this true of bio kids.. both a miracle in their own stories.
46. I am smitten with our children. I adore them. i love them so much.
47. I hate missing Church.
48. I have walked on the Great Wall 3 times and getting ready for the 4th.
49. God has saved my life 3 times( I have almost died 3 times, with one time the doctor telling Bob to say his goodbyes to me) 4 if you are counting salvation.
50.I had a full hysterectomy at age 34 1/2. On my stinking wedding anniversary! I have never felt better!
51. I am only half way down and feeling that I have nothing else to say.. :O)
52. I love books. I have so many books and have about 3 or 4 going at once.
53. I graduated from Grad school.. Va Tech.. Vocational and Technical Education with Special Needs. (think school- to- work and testing kids with SN)
54. I desire to go to China and stay for a while... to work with the orphanages.
55. i have a desire to go back to school to study something in religious/bible/missionary studies.. along side my husband
56. As much as I want to see the face of Jesus, I also want to see my grand- kids one day.. but I don't want to see my kids grow up too fast...
57. i really want a puppy for Christmas... a small dog this time around..
58. I was president on a school board many moons ago..
59. I am a pack-rat... which leads to..
60. I have tons of clutter.. drives bob mad!
61. I love deeply.
62. I trust to easily
63. I have a "sensitive heart".
64. when i was puking in the toilet for 26 weeks about 10 times a day.. from my pregnancy with Sarah.. in between pukes. i would sing praises to God. bob would gag :O) from the smell. I lost 20 pounds in my 1st trimester.
65. I love sappy movies
66. i am addicted to popcorn at the movie theater.
67. i have lived in 18 places since I was born. 13 different states, and 1 country outside the US
68. I always wanted a tree house.
69. My family use to own/ride horses and i did so until my junior year in college.
70. I, surprising, enjoy geo-caching.
71. I am an indoor kinda girl.. scrapbooking, quilting, cooking, baking...
72. In college, bob and I took ballroom dancing.
73. bob and i use to swing dance and he could flip me.. fun stuff..until later when he dropped me to my knees.. hehehe we haven't tried that since..
74. I stay cold.. except when i have a hot flash. seriously.
75. i hate hate hate dusting...
76. i like staying up late.. really late..
77. i love to shop.. anyone need a personal shopper?
78. i don't love to exercise.. i do it for my children
79. i love to be crazy with my kids and watch them laugh at me
80. I start many projects only to be sidetracked.. many many times
81. i have been paid for the quilts I have made.. I use to customize orders..
82. I haven't made a quilt in over 3 years.. it became very obsessive.. so I had to put it down for a bit..
83. i miss it
84. i will talk to anyone who is interested in adoption
85. i have to have a list
86. i am lost without my calendar
87. i love to read other peoples blogs
88. i have a hard time keeping my mouth shut with kids who are rude to their parents and are disobedient .. trying to learn meekness..
89. bob and i watch 'jon and kate +8' :O))) hehehee
90. i love taking field trips
91. i took my first mission trip last year, with sarah (and my sweet girlfriend and her daughter)
92. i have vivid dreams that come true (the first one I remember is of my parents divorce - i dreamt of the room where they were telling us, and what everyone was wearing and where everyone was sitting.. it came to be.. fast forward several dreams and years.. i dreamt that my best friend was in a car accident while riding her bike and it happen 3 weeks later. fast forward over many dreams.. and in the Fall of 2006 I dreamt of our sons face.. we were waiting on Daniel then and I dreamt of drew. He was born then. rest of story to follow later)
93. i don't allow our children to participate in Halloween activities. harvest is fine, pumpkins ect..
94. i have birthday WEEKS.. my husband had learned to pacify me during this time :O)
95. i hate water parks..but go b/c the kids love them.. germ infested things.. the parks and kids..
96. i have 3 sisters
97. i am an American idol junkie
98. i can sign. i love sign language.
99. i am learning Chinese..
100.. i am forever grateful for the grace and mercy of a loving God that never turned His back on me when I wondered. I am forever grateful for His son and the gift of salvation. I am forever grateful that He kept me safe during all those turbulent years. I am forever grateful that I am His.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

It has been a good weekend...

The weekend started out GREAT. We were in high spirits and having so much fun..
Saturday Sarah swam in her first meet. She swam in the 8 and under. Free style 25 m and the backstroke 25m.
And was chosen at the end of the day to swim in the Relay! She was SOOOO excited about that. I was thrilled for her. Especially since she couldn't even swim last year LOL

I don't have her times yet b/c they are posting the 8 and under at the next practice. But she did GREAT and our hugest prayer was that she wouldn't be DQ [disqualified] in the first meet. She has a 'habit' of turning on the last stroke (in the backstroke) b/c she hit her head once :O(. But she didn't and she was amazing! YEA SARAH, YEA GOD for answering prayer.
I love seeing that lit up face on my kids! It is a pure- heart -bursting feeling seeing your kid happy!
So I would LOVE to show you photos.. i change out my card and formatted it.. could see the great photos on my camera.. then today they DISAPPEARED! what my momma said ? [as i quote sarah :O)]
I can't get them off the new card. AND we did video it but I have yet to get that to work transferring on the computer.. can you say - Jill is a HUGE disappointment! I can.
THEN Saturday night bob asked me to rub his neck b/c it hurt really bad. So I gave him 800 motrin, heating pad and rubbed until my fingers grew numb.
This morning my man awoke and couldn't MOVE. So we missed church and went into the ER!!!!! I hate missing church, but I really hate to see my honey bunches of o;s in pain. which is rare for him. He sprained his neck. Wanna know how... hummmm okay here goes.. dragging in 160 pounds of CORN to his deer stand b/c he saw a 11 point there on the handy cam!
He is loaded up on major drugs, with a neck soft cast on his neck and passed out right now.
He wants to go to our couples bible study tonight so we will see how that goes.
I told him,, good thing this didn't happen while we were leaving for China. HE said, nothing is keeping me from our son - i would rip this thing off and run if necessary.. aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh I love him!!!!!!!

The weekend is still good. God has shown me through our family bible readings His word and although He has shown me several.. I want to share this one:
Jeremiah 15:18
Why is my pain unending and my wound grievous and incurable? Will you be to me like a deceptive brook, like a spring that fails? Therefore this is what the Lord says: 'If you repent, I will restore you that you may serve me; if you utter worthy, not worthless, words, you will be my spokesman. Let this people turn to you, but you must not turn to them. I will make you a wall to this people, a fortified wall of bronze; they will fight against you but willnot overcome you, for I am with you to rescue and save you' declares the Lord.

I love when God's living word speaks to my heart.
Thank you friends for praying for my heart. I feel the love and peace from your petitions.

Friday, October 10, 2008

ordered the moo-la

I am sorry for anyone who is from KS but I have to tell you this state is whack.
No one has traveler checks.. they do the "bank card" now. GEESH. and Noone is 'legally able to order new money".. b lah.

However, after closing one bank account (b/c they were unprofessional) and going to another bank.. Go C*mmerce! They can order money and are probably the lone bank that still has AM EX traveler checks..

SO today to make me feel closer to Drew.. the kids and I went to the bank. Ordered "the" money.
I asked if I could open a safety deposit box to keep the "new' money and that gal gave me a discount b/c of what I was doing it for! YEA ~
Then she notarized our paper saying we would vaccine our kids.. no raised seal thingy.. I asked about it and she said - no one does that anymore... uummm yea they do. My entire dossier is that way! oh well can't win them all.. I will ask if it needs to be and if so I will just go over to the post and get it done by a federal notary.

It seems that in this state, if "they" [whoever I am dealing with] doesn't do "it" [notary, traveler checks, order money blah blah blah] then it is apparently now illegal or "no one does that anymore"...
testing my already thin patience..

my heart is heavy

it is. I can tell you that I am fine.. i can tell you i am living the most of life with happiness until the day and call comes that we get to go for drew.. but it would be a big fat lie.
i am growing weary. i have been mad at God (did i just say that outloud?) and He has allowed me those feelings. I am His child and he allowed me to have my huge pity party. I pulled my big girl panties back on and thought - whew - glad that is over! but is it?
I feel down. I feel defeated and have often asked, Lord why have you forsaken me? Do I seriously need to learn a lesson again? Can't you just once give us a blessing without all the trials and lessons?..
Of course Bob stepped a whole foot away from me as I asked that ;O> but seriously I am asking with a childs heart. And I know full well that God has BLESSED my life in SO MANY ways on so many occasions just because He felt like it. So really it was me whining about something that just wasn't true but felt true.
We are at 100 days for LID, 114 LOI and 93 PA. So on Monday it would be 103 lid, 117 loi and 96 pa.. not that I am counting.
It is beginning to look a lot like daniels adoption timeline. I really wanted to be there for his 2nd birthday.. in Sept.. the thought that we might be able to squeeze in with a group leaving in two weeks.. then I thought perhaps by Thanksgiving.. although I dislike the thought of not being with 2 out of my 4 children.. it is doable.. NOW it is pushing it to make it by Christmas. And I just couldn't bear being with the girls for Christmas.. nor is it fair to anyone to say here are the girls.. have fun (seriously, i wouldn't be that crass)..
We were matched in July 06 for Daniel and adopted him 30 Jan 07. YIKES
We were matched in June 08 with Drew and ... who knows. what I do know is that I am calling for prayer. I would love to feel the peace of Jesus. The peace I had for MONTHS prior to being matched, and soon after. I desire to be at peace.
No matter how many people tell me "it is in God's timing" I know that.. really I do.. but it is like hearing.. "oh you'll get pregnant after you adopt" it just stinks hearing it. and sometimes it just isn't true. I didn't get pregnant after we adopted. which is fine now but geesh constantly hearing it sure didn't help.Sometimes i just want to cry, scream and shout with someone nodding their head or crying with me. ya know. (thank you girls who are crying with me..)
uumm yea.. i am still whining.. and crying.. and waiting.
Pray first for peace for our family as we are anxious to adopt Drew. Pray for me to fully surrender to God once again and keep my surrender there! Pray for my heart to be still .
Thank you everyone - not that there are many people who come over to this site but those of you who do.. you rock!
and lastly, pray God releases my sons papers and we have him home sooner than expected.
God's will be done.
i know i know.. i need to suck it up and trust.. i am trying yet i am this huge work in progress..

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

handbag giveway

Click on the link to enter your name for a FREE handbag.. Drawing will be Oct 15th. THey are giving a handbag away every hour for 24 hours! woohoo

They are launching their new site. handbag planet

Sarah's Swim Meet

We would love for you to send well wishes to Sarah Grace for her upcoming swim meet. Please lift her in prayer for Saturday. She will be swimming between 1130 and 3 pm (central time zone).
This is her first meet. Actually it is my first meet as well. The coaches told the parents.. don't be alarmed if your child doesn't qualify (meaning gets disqualified during the race)... it is normal and it happens to everyone..
geesh. poor kids. I would love to lift the entire team up in prayer. THe older kids start on Friday and it ends on Sunday. I will be working the concession stand on Friday night.. uummm maybe i need prayer too... not much patience these days...

Anyways, she is swimming the free style and the back stroke in the 8 and under catagory, THIS Saturday.

thanks friends. :O)

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

cardboard testimony

I am not able to figure out how to actually set up this video on my blog posts so I added the link above.

I know how to do it in the side bar but not in a post.. sorry!

It is worth the look AND worth the viewing. make sure you have a tissue.

(got the link off Stefs blog- thanks)

cleaning out th car

I chose to clean out the car for my husband. It is my minivan but it is not the cleanest car in the neighborhood which drives my man batty. There is no food or anything but whew ... we could save a tree with all the paper and crud (ie: toys, books, McD toys ect).

As I sat in the way back (AKA: Sarah's zone) I had a trashbag full of mess. One thing that I did find.. and brought me to sobbing tears is a little note. Sarah writes songs, and poems and is constantly either reading, writing or drawing. She says her favorite subjects are science and math so it will be interesting how all that works together.
Okay, back to the note I found in one of her notebooks: I want to serve Jesus all the days of my life. My mom is the best cooker. My sister is the best

The note wasn't finished but it said it all.. I want to serve Jesus all the days of my life.
I think those are the sweetest words any child could ever say. As soon as my camera is fixed (i am going through withdrawls) I will take a photo of the note :O)

day 29 challenge/ day 2

Sorry I am a little late on telling you what I have been doing.. I am not on the net everyday so...

Day 2 Sunday
I bought cookies (for lack of time to make them.. ) and gave them away with out being asked... this was a rough day emotionally for me.. and this is what i could muster.. sorry.

Day 3 Monday
I prayed blessings over my children. This time was different. I looked them in the eye, individually, and specifically prayed a blessing to them. (we pray all the time, and pray for them.. but this was different.. not sure how to explain it.. )
I wish I could bottle up their faces. They lit up and their hearts were bursting with joy. It was truly my highlight this week.

Day 4 Tuesday
I gave my favorite coat of all time to someone that needed a coat.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

29 day

Are you ready for the 29 Day challenge? I just read about it on the Holy Experience blog. You can go down a few post to get that address.

Here is the link for the challenge
The basic premise is to give away something everyday for 29 days.

I am starting today.

Day 1- I am giving HALF my closet away. Literally. I will take a photo later today. I will give it to a place that doesNOT resale the items but also gives them to those who need (perhaps a woman's batter shelter or fire victims or refugees or IKE victims or all of the above)

are ya with me?

Thursday, October 2, 2008

too cool

I submitted a photo that I took for They run daily contest and you can stand to win a good size chunk of money :O) ( umm yea. i didnt :O(] well, i didn't know I needed to tell others about it so they could vote at this stage anyway.. (this is the key if you do this ongoing contest)..
the good news is they are taking my photo and putting it in there book of "best photos" :O)

Here is part of the email I received today..
"Not long ago you entered a photograph in's International Open Amateur Photography Contest, and you may be wondering about the results of the contest.
I want to thank you for your submission of "My first and last." It’s pictures like yours that make our monthly contests so competitive. Each day, our editors review countless photographs and we appreciate your contribution.
Once again, Jill, the Endless Journeys series promises to be an exclusive, widely enjoyed collection of photographs, and it is sincerely our pleasure to be able to include "My first and last" within it."

How cool is that!