How do you tell someone that you love them so much and that they have provided you with so much ? How do you show a person that you are a better person because of them?
Sophia, you are our second child. You came to us, as a blessing and a Hope, when our lives were sad. We were young in our faith. We were a couple who thought that we would never have children, yet God gave us Sarah Grace and You. We prayed without ceasing for you. We longed to see you, feel you and hear you. We desired to be parents again and God gave us you. We were so happy.
On Sept 9, we saw your little sweet face for the first time. There was never a question of whether we could love you the same as Sarah. We knew in our hearts that we could. We already loved the idea of another child, a sibling. We already knew you in our hearts. God set the passion for China in our hearts. He placed a unquenchable desire to help the orphans. He put passion for you in us. So as the saying goes, you grew not in my belly - under my heart ~ but in it~ in the very depths of my heart.
As Sept 9th came, at 7:34 in the morning, we received a call from our social worker, Cindy. She said, and I remember as if it was this morning, Hi Jill. how are you this morning. I said, much better than yesterday! how are you. Then Cindy said, GREAT - you have a DAUGHTER!. It was then, I collapsed to the floor. I cried out to Jesus and offered praise. I cried, I shouted I jumped up and down. i don't remember a lot of what she said, but I do remember saying, we will be there soon. (a 45 minute trip plus I had to get Bob home - a 20 minute drive.. oh it was killing me not to see your face).
I called Bob then Christy then family. I was still in PJ's and Christy was on her way over. Christy and I have been close friends since our time in North Dakota. I met her at our neighborhood bible study and our firstborns were babies under a year. I have the best video from Christy. She walked in my home and I was in the kitchen, unbeknowst to me she was filming. I came RUNNING and JUMPING around the corner to her holding a video cam! Too funny but totally shows my personality. Then Sarah woke up and we told her on live camera that she indeed had a baby sister and she was turning ONE the very next day! Sarah said, really momma, my prayers came true. really momma i have a baby sister!
Then I called Miranda- she had gotten her referral earlier in the week and we were praying for mine. It was wonderful that God brought us together. I also called my friend Karen, whom i met only a few short months prior and who had helped me through the waiting!
Sophia, On November 8th 2004 we met you for the first time, we held you for the first time and at that moment we became your parents - officially. God had us as your parents from the beginning of time. That moment stood still and it felt like everyone around us was a blur but we could see clearly you. My heart stopped. My heart fell completely and we were so in-love with you. It was so magical. It was complete as it should be.
You, however, were not happy! You had a cold, ear infection and were hungry. You cried for maybe 20 minutes. uumm no screamed for 10 and whimpered for 10. It was so sad. It was so heartbreaking for us b/c we knew you were confused, tired and hungry. I pulled out a bottle and you drank. Then fell asleep in my arms. From that moment on, you melted into me. You clung for life. We called you the Velcro baby, which you still hold the title.
It was a blessing and a trying time. As five days later, i went into the hospital overnight. Daddy had to fend for himself.. however he didn't. Our group of 16 families came along side of him and they were the hands and feet of Jesus. They grabbed our luggage, helped him to the room and ate with him and you. My time in the hospital (puking my guts out and getting ever test imaginable to man) getting shots, and Iv's fluids. Yummy. And our guide, Joy was there every step of the way. She and Shyian are blessing to our family.
After that I was unable to carry all 16 pounds of you. I had to hold you when I sat. I didn't have the strenght to bath you. But you and daddy had excellent bonding time, that- in hindsight I might not have given him... had i not been sick. Later we found out that I am allergic to a medicine (z-pac) that I started taking!
Sophia, during the last 4 years, God has taught me about endurance, loving a special needs child, and laughter. You bring me laughter. Just as Sarah says in Genesis. just as God brought her laughter through her child, you do also to us.
In the past 4 years, you have taught me how to parent, to love, to let go and to accept. We have been in therapy together every week 6-9 hours a week for years. You have taught me to accept my children for who they are - b/c God does NOT make mistakes. We are all beautiful. You have taught me how to be a mommy in the good times and bad. You are so beautiful. Inside and out. You are my fighter, my survivor. You are the funniest person I know. You have passion. You have been a Shelton for FOUR YEARS! You will never be an orphan again. You are loved. You are my daughter. You are precious in His sight. You have overcome so much in such a short time, braces on your feet, hypoglycemic (still has), sensory integration (mild), low muscle tone in your mouth, seizures, not knowing how to cry b/c you had locked those emotions away for a very long time, being a tough girl to just being a girl. Sophia you are so strong and sassy.
You have come from weighing 16 pounds at 14 months to weighing in at 36 pounds at 5 yrs!
You have gone to wearing a size 3 shoe at 14 mos to wearing a size 9!
You have gone from not being able to sit up, crawl, walk, bear weight on your legs to RUNNING, JUMPING, forever walking backwards, and spinning!
You have gone from not looking into my eyes to letting go and loving me with your whole heart!
You have gone from not being able to chew any food to eating everything all the time - all day long!
You have gone from one loving arms, your Ayi's in ChangDe, China to mine ~ forever.
We love you so much. You have enriched our lives in a way that we will never be able to repay. You are a child of God and ours. You have the whole world right in front of you and you will be able to do anything you set you heart to. You are our daughter. You are our love. You are the beat of my heart. You are sweet, sassy, spirited, survivor, spicy, silly, SOPHIA.
Spicy
Obstinate
Pretty
Happy
Ice cream-loving-but-can-only-have-soy-girl
Amazing
love mommy and daddy
And to all our travel mates, Happy Gotcha Day. You are our family, our friends and it has been amazing knowing you. You enrich our lives. We love you and cannot wait until the summer to see you again.
love bob, jill , sarahgrace, sophia, daniel and soon drew.
To our families, thank you for embracing our children. All our children. Just as if they were born from my belly, you love them the same. thank you beyond our hearts!
we are so blessed!
1 comment:
This was BEAUTIFUL!!! I can just feel the love you have for her! Happy Gotcha Day!!!!!!!!!!!!
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