Photos of Sarah's night

My baby just turned eight... and of course she had to get a PINK pair of shoes oh yea baby!

Happy Birthday to our first born..

Today is a day both of great joy and sadness. Eight years ago, as I laid in an excellent room overlooking a perfect view I held this little 8 1/2 pound beautiful baby girl that we had begged, pleaded and prayed to have. I was alone that night, and it was peaceful. I held her up to the window to show her the harvest moon. It was huge and the most intricate color of orange and red with some brown. I nursed her that night by the moons light and it was surreal. It was this side of Heaven. It was my deepest desire to be a mom.
Sarah Grace you have brought so much joy in our lives. I am so grateful I am your mom. As much as i don't want you to grow up.. I am excited and proud of the girl you are and look forward to the plan God has for your life.

The day you turned ONE, our country changed. That Tuesday morning, your grandma and Great Aunt Mary, Daddy and I were watching the news and saw a tragic event unfolding.. because we were out of sorts from the events of 9/11 - we forgot to close the gate and down you went.. we spent the rest of the morning at the hospital.. it was a crazy day.. a day of celebrating your first birthday and a day of sorrow, grief and bewilderment.
We still pray for the lives lost, changed and our government/soldiers whom protect. It is a day we will never forget.
So at this time I would like to say thank you to all who serve and protect. To the families who wait at home and the parents who raised our soldiers. God bless you all.

more

Sophia blowing out her candles out.. our speech therapist would be so proud!
Her "big" gift.. the Sharpea (sP?) car.. from her list..
The blanket sarah and I put together this week..
Wallee cupcakes..
every girl has to have a pair of new shoes..
the tea set we bought in 2004 for her.. bob showing her how to open the box.. then a close up of her tea set.. which they are now playing with :O)))

Sophia's family party

More photos on Sunday after her tea party but here are a few from tonight :O)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

SOPHIA! We love you so much. Just as Sarah said in Genesis to God about her son, you have brought us laughter!
We praise God for you! The last 4 years have been amazing and God has taught us MUCH about being parents and His love through you. God taught us about the adoption into His family through the adoption of you. We saw, first hand, the love He has for us, an unconditional love, a love that is the same as His love for Christ. Just as we are co-heirs with Christ - you are a co-heir with your siblings to the Shelton name. You are every bit a part of me as your siblings. I love you with an unbridled passion and protectiveness one can only get from the Holy one. You are every ounce my daughter and I am grateful beyond words that you call me momma. It drives me to the throne in utter thankfulness.
We love you sooooooooooooo much!
happy 5th birthday!!!

(Sophia has chosen to have a Tea party :O) on Sunday afternoon- photos to come soon!)

David or Isaiah

David or Isaiah? Do you long for a relationship that is holy with the Holiest? What is preventing you from complete and full surrender? Have you tasted being in the presence of the Lord and if so do you long to stay there? If not, do you long to get there?
I want to be like David AND Isaiah. I want to be a woman after God's own heart like David and I want to be in full surrender like Isaiah and say "Here I am Lord, I will go, Send ME!!" - even before I know the destination.. even after I find out where the "where is".
For years God was placing on my heart a passion and yearning to go minister to the needs of the children He calls His own. Yet I was petrified. I long to go on a "mission trip" and be "changed forever". I was on fire. I was jumping up and down with my hand in the air like a school girl that KNEW the answer.. "over here, pick me, ohohohoh pick meeeeeeee". And like most 'teachers' God knew I knew the answer but wanted to chose someone else this time that was reluctant to go.. to mold them and have them rely on Him only.. I keep hearing in my heart, "wait child, you are not ready yet". I would reflect on this and ask - why am I not ready yet. With a wounded pride and disappointed heart. I wanted to go NOW . Isn't it just like our world today.. get [it] in our minds and BAMM make it happen nooooooowwwww. So I waited.. for YEARS. I knew that I needed MAJOR areas in my life pruned. So my heartfelt prayer was to weed me, groom me and search my heart Oh Lord for the issues that I am not aware of. Heal me. Prepare me for your work.
I am bruised.
The weeding I endured was nothing like Job, yet I did often refer back to Job while being weeded. How did he react, what did he say, think, feel.. I also found new insight to the day Jesus died. The beatings, the ridicule, the spit.. He never said anything. Never pleaded His case.. never. And three days later He was ALIVE. I am so ever thankful of the stories that God has given us - to teach us, to show us the way. I love reading the Psalmist David. He is so real, and shows us so much emotion. I have found relief and comfort in the Book of Psalms.
The pruning that took place that even continues today was slow at first. Just as a child is learning to walk.. then it came on fast and furious .. to only again come on like soft waves at midnight on the ever stretching ocean. The mighty one had to slowly begin with me for He knew how fragile my heart really was. Isn't the thought of Him loving you in an intimate way and knowing He knows EVERYTHING about you - yet still loves you like you were the only person alive, enough to drive you flat out on [my] face? Once the tough pruning began, it was only in time that He would allow me to rest.. in Him.
In this time He made it very clear I was going to go to China to spend time with orphans and Sarah was to come also. He put on our hearts that He was also grooming her heart to be a servant. I was giddy to know that our daughter and I were finally able to go into the field. After years of "pick me, please pick me" I started to have doubt about going.. 'what was i thinking' 'did i study enough scripture to be wearing the shield/breastplate and sandals and carry the sword?' It was then through the book of Isaiah - God spoke to me.. my eyes become clear with Isiah 40:28-31, 41:8-15, and 42:1-13
After meditating on these passages a new stirring was evident in my belly. The arm raised saying oohhhohhhhhohh pick me pick me was converted to a humble heart that said 'oh Lord, i am not worthy to minister to their needs. yet, i know I can do this through you' Oh Lord, I am willing and able to go should you find me your servant. I know there are others much better suited for this calling. Lord I only want to love you. How do I love you fully and completely ALL the time with every ounce of my being? How do I trust you ALL the time with JOY in my heart?
I have tasted being in the presence of the Lord. I long to be there again. I am like the ocean, that at times I am tossed around b/c I am at the edge near the sand.. only with my toes emerged.. Lord I want to be in the bottom of the ocean in the stillness of you.. no waves, no drama, nothing but a cleansed soul. I have been both places like peaks and valleys..
So today, instead of jumping up and down yelling pick me pick me.. I quietly wait on the Lord to chose, I tell him, I am willing to go ANYWHERE you chose. I am your servant. I will go with joy in my heart. And if this is not your will in my life I am trusting you. I am obedient, I have learned the call of obedience.. it is trust and joy that I struggle with, please Lord teach me those qualities.
at times I still,by the nature of my heart, yell pick me ohhh my turn.. as I long to get to the place where Isiah was.. a humble servant.. patiently waiting on the call of the Lord. And to be like David seeking God's own heart.
I am but a sinful, ugly person. I am made beautiful by the grace of God. I am a work in progress that continues to stumble and be picked up by the One whom loves me the most.
suggested reading: THe Holiness of God by RC Sproul
From this book/chapter that I am in comes these questions:
Have you ever had an experience in which you were overcome by God's presence, in which you were "undone" by God's presence? In what ways do you need to be refined by the fire of God's holiness? Isaiah's repsonse to God's revelation of his holiness was, "Woe is me," What is your response?

some more...

the second photo is of Sarah and our dear friend with their babies.. of course Sarahs is a doll but this was too cute to not post!

photos..

just a couple old photos of our girls..

Referral Day 4 years ago... and 8 years ago

Today marks a huge moment in our lives.. September 9th 2000, I was gleefully admitted to a hospital in Grand Forks ND to birth our first child. I was anxious, grateful and very excited to finally see her precious face. I will never forget the time spent- 36 hours- in labor and finally an emergency C-section to get Sarah Grace to come into this world! But honestly, it was worth it.. every bit of 26 weeks of puking so hard and much that my MIL had to come up to take care of me..that I lost 20 pounds in my first trimester :O( then preterm labor at 32 weeks that put me on a every three hour med (trib)around the clock to keep her in for just a weebit more.. Then two weeks early weighing in at a whopping 8 pounds 4.5 ounces (good thing she didn't wait 2 more weeks~ouch!) Finally, on September 11, 2000 I fell more in love than I had ever experienced. I praise God for the opportunity to carry a child to term. For allowing me to have my desire to be a mom. For hearing my pleas and cries and granting me what I don't believe was in the plan but yet He found mercy and heard the prayers of MANY. It was then I truly began to believe in the power of prayer. It was 14 mos since I gave my heart to my Lord and it was amazing.

Four years later, my heart was moved again. My desire had been to have so many children.. yet it just wasn't so. Or so I thought.. On September 9th, 2004 - time stood still as my girlfriend and I (and our husbands :O)) experienced God's love and plan for our lives.. we saw our daughters for the first time. We went through our adoption together and it was God who brought us together. Miranda you are precious to me. It was 7:34 in the morning and the phone rang.. our SW said, Jill you have a daughter. I fell to the floor. I remember gathering all the information.. Sarah was still asleep, and so I called Bob to share the news that he too was going to "have a baby" in 5 weeks. Her b-day was the next day... she was turning one! Sarah woke up and I called my dearest friend Christy (I probably called my mom too but honestly I don't' know what order i made the calls.. oops). I wasn't even dressed when Christy said I will be right over.. I love her! I heard her come through my front door and I came literally bouncing and screaming around the corner.. she has it all on video and it is a hoot to watch.. me with no hair brushed.. in my p.j.'s elated that Sarah had a sister! It was then, on film that I told Sarahgrace.. her reaction was priceless and forever etched in my mind. I tear up just thinking of that day.. I waited so long to be a mom again.. we have so many babies in heaven waiting on us.. it was healing.
That day we went to our agencies office to see her and sign papers excepting her as our daughter. I can't begin to describe how emotional that day was. It was relief, happiness, over-the-top-joy, giddiness, forgetfulness, running in circles and going no-where-ness, sorrow in knowing she had to have loss in order to be part of our family, can't wait to get my hands on her - ness.. and more.
So today, I am sure I will get sappy.. b/c my two daughters share the same "labor/referral" day.. and they have brought so much joy into our lives.
Wed is Sophia's 5th birthday and Thursday is SarahGrace's 8th.. What a happy week for us..
oh. and Drew will be two years old next week :O)
Thank you Lord for the blessings and miracle children in our life. may I always love them like you love them, treat them as you treat me and encourage them the way you have been my cheerleader. Lord, thank you for these children, my gifts from you. They are so precious to me and i am so grateful that you keep trusting me to be their mom. I am overwhelmed with emotion that you continue to trust me and allow me to raise your gifts... thank you thank you thank you...

It has come to my attention.. that I am not or have not written on this blog as I do on my private/passworded travel blogs..
I got to thinkin' why is that I wonder? Not that I am a perfect writer but why am I not writing the way I use to?
The only thing i came up with is that perhaps I am not "letting go" or I am feeling a little antsy about putting it out there with an open blog?? I am still writing in my private journals (paper and pen).. so perhaps i will blog what I write there for a little while..
another question i had was - why am i blogging? I blog b/c I like to. It gives me an outlet and it sure is faster at times than my pen and paper:O).. plus I love conecting with other ladies and families that are going through the same things we are.. and lastly, for friends and family to keep up with our life.. especially b/c Bob is in the military and we don't live close to family, and we move from friends.

Duvet :O) fundraiser SOLD Praise God!

As we draw near to the end of this tunnel and the beginning of our lives with Drew.. it is becoming apparent we need to 'step' it up a notch.

Is anyone interested in:
a Silk duvet cover (no inside filling) that was bought in China last year. It has never been out of the original cover. It comes with 2 pillow cases/covers and one duvet (queen size). There is a design of some sort and the colors are tans, mocha's, light blue (so infrequent that i almost missed this color) and creams.

I bought two of these duvets while in China last year.. I paid a little over 200 for EACH of them. I used one for several months and it has been put away, still in excellent shape with one tiny hole at the stitch line caused by me (oops). The one I didn't use is in perfect condition.

If you are interested in giving a donation (over or equal to the purchase price) to us, we would love to give you this item.

I purchased these duvets from a "government-run" facility. We were able to watch and participate in the "silk process". It is amazing.

First come, first serve.

SO much ..

has happen over the past few days.. :O)

I learned through another blog and friend that CA's (consulate appts) are booking into October.. sigh. I keep repeating and believe that God is bigger than that and can get us an appt any time He wants. amen. I would love to spend Drew's birthday with him...
I after pouring out my heart to our Lord (again :O)) I not only received two photos of Drew through a friend's friend.. whom went to the SWI last November on a missions trip. oohhh it is so sweet to see my child's face.. I so desire to hold him and chase him and love on him... what a blessing from the Lord!
After swim team practice (seriously you did't think for me right! ;O)) with Sarah Grace, we checked the mail and the most AMAZING NECKLACE was there.. it is BEAUTIFUL. It says in chinese, Faith, Hope and Love !!!!! from 1Cor 13.13 Enclosed was a card with well wishes and prayers offered. I was flabergasted and in awe of our awesome God who takes care of every detail and gently takes care of our needs.
Last we just got an email from our agency saying they fully expect the SWI (orphanage) fees to GO UP>> from 3000 to 5000. I should say two things about this.. one is in the regulations (US and China) it has stated for YEARS that they could charge from 3000 to 5000 for that specific fee. So it is of no surprise. And for us, we have only had to pay the 3000 for each Daniels and Sophia adoption SWI fee. The second part is that I "planned on paying" the 3000 to the original SWI and giving a major amount of money to the SWI where Drew is now (staying somewhere else while he had surgery ect). ugh.
My good friend Wendy who is also an awesome Pampered Chef guru said she would do a fundraiser for us. this is her site. Please consider purchasing items.. maybe a b-day gift, Christmas gift or something special for yourself that you can now say is benefiting you and Drew! All you have to do is let her know it is a purchase under "bringing home Drew" our last name is Sheltons. She is prepared to give to our adoption fund all proceeds from this fundraiser - that is so huge and very kind of her!
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/wendystaub
once you place an order, you will see a link to "host".. BRINGING HOME DREW - is the HOST name.

WOOHOO

No not TA but ... the judge signed off on Daniels re-adoption!! August 13th 2008 Daniel was officially re-adopted. (we just go this news in the mail yesterday) Which means a US Birth Certificate. We already have his passport and social security card but this is niiiccee! Especially right before we go to China.
I just feel that God is completely getting everything in order for our trip. :O)

Congratulations Daniel.. the United States officially recognizes what God has already confirmed for us.. "it is just as Daniel Robert DiJiang Shelton was born to Robert and Jill Shelton..." You are our son and you are a Shelton, just as God intended.
i love you sweet boy
mommy

HELP!

Hi friends and prayer warriors,

I have two major prayer request.
1) my mom is very sick and they can't find out what is wrong with her. Please pray that the doctors have wisdom on how to treat her. And if it is God's will, to completely heal her (my desire!)

2)My Kansas (KBI) prints came back illegible UGH> I have to go again to get them to fingerprint me.. We have to do this b/c of the move out of state and the SW requires them to sign off on the addendum. Please pray that my prints today are great and come back quickly.

I have started nesting.. not sure if it is wishful thinking or truly a sign of things to come soon :O) either way, i don't want KS fingerprints to be holding me up!! yikes!

Thanks and I will write soon
JIll

I forgot...

I completely forgot to get a "100 wishes quilt" started! YIKES.

If you want, please send me a 12 x 12 - 100% cotton quilt square with a note of whatever you want to say/wish/prayer to/for Drew so I can put that in Drew's book.

The square can be anything you want (style wise). If you want to participate send me a note and I will get you my address.

AND if you are doing a quilt, then I can send you one back if you wish!

Here is the 911 on wish quilts;
http://www.tolmanstuff.com/page/page/4284053.htm

What is a 100 Good Wishes Quilt?

To welcome and celebrate a new life, there is a tradition in the northern part of China to make a Bai Jia Bei, or 100 Good Wishes Quilt. It is a custom to invite friends and family to contribute a patch of cloth with a wish for the baby. Part of the patch of cloth goes into the quilt for the baby, and the other part of the cloth can go into a creative memory notebook with the wish for the child. The quilt contains the luck, energy, and good wishes from all the families and friends who contributed a piece of fabric. The quilt is then passed down from generation to generation.

officially started school

YIKES. It was our first day of school today. We did have fun however, during our history lesson, both Sarah and I FELL ASLEEP during my reading! LOL The thing is - it wasn't boring.. and i went to bed last night at 9:30! So much for a rested teacher... Bob came in from work and laughed and laughed at us!
Tomorrow is a new day...

getting ready or not- ramblings

last night as i laid in bed.. i couldn't sleep.. it was 130 am and i realized that i have NOTHING ready for this upcoming trip to China... "why" was the question that kept coming to mind.. we should be traveling next month and i am completely unprepared.
so not like me..
perhaps i have learned in my three prior trips to China; i don't need much. I will be taking med's, two pair of shoes and 3 pants and some shirts, some boy toys for my little ones... okay perhaps my hairspray.. what respectable girl doesn't carry her own hairspray?
everything else I know I can get and be happy with there. perhaps i am keeping my heart guarded b/c we were matched with daniel in july and it took til jan to travel.. i am praying that we travel in sept. i really wanted to be there for drews birthday in sept... it is so unlikely but God can do anything he chooses.. so i hold out hope for that. we were matched in june and had pa three weeks later.. we never received a pa or loa or anything for daniel.. just went from loi to ta.. and eight days later we were in china.. interesting how each of our three children's adoptions are so very different.
as i laid in bed i realized that the only thing i have is one suitcase,
60k northwest airline miles that i hope and pray we are able to use and my clothes that i haven't even picked out yet.
most of the time i am extremely out of character by being calm..i thank God for the peace he is giving me. then i get in the way and sometimes i am just beside myself waiting for CCAA to say 'come on over girl and bring this boy home!'.
I hope i can travel with three families that i have met.. we are all going to the same place and it would be amazing if it could happen..
interesting how I said i didn't want to adopt from Guatemala b/c i couldn't handle seeing a child's face for a year and waiting to go get that child.. but here God is saying you can handle this if you trust me, look to me and know that my plan is always perfect for you.. I have seen Drews face in my dreams since the Fall of 2006... and now we are about to be united.. in the Fall of 2008.. in China
Fall is my favorite time of year - it always has been..
so here i am with no plans, no bags packed and finally trusting the one who loves me best!

Happy Birthday to ME

hehehe, they say its your birthday.. alalalalalal,, well its my birthday too..lalalalalal

Bob left a message on my mirror this morning.. it said "Happy 38th Birthday" with a drawn bouquet of flowers and hearts :O)

isn't he sweet :O)
We are going out (as a family) to dinner tonight for mexican food YUM and as Rachel Ray says, DELICIOUS!
We don't go out much these days so tonight is a TREAT...

love to all Jill
Thanks mom and dad and God for making me ;o>

Book Tag

I have officially been tagged.. and I am a loser b/c i was tagged on the 25th of July.. and I am FINALLY doing this. I am officially wearing that 'L' on my necklace!
BOOK TAG
Get the book nearest to you, or one that you are currently reading that is over 123 pages.



Go to page 123.



Find the 5th sentence.



Post the 5th sentence.



Tag 5 people

Okay, the book nearest me is "the out of sync child: recognizing and coping with sensory processing disorder" by Carol Stock Kranowitz
I bet you all are saying Gee how lovely.. I can tell you I said, geesh why was I not beside my bed!
Okay, page 123 and 5th sentence says " To keep upright, we make subconscious, physical adaptations, called postural background adjustments."..
WASNT THAT THRILLING!!!!
So like Barbie who tagged me.. I am going to find a better sentence while keeping on the page 123.. b/c this really is a GREAT book. One of our kids has mild SI and this book has helped in so many ways..
New sentence.. "Joe, ten, can't quite get the hand of riding his skateboard, although he practices every day and works hard to master this skill."

So now I can tag 5 people.. Ginger, Alice, Kristy, Robbie and Charlene .. and I am stepping way out of the box and tagging Lori too :O)
see how not following directions runs in my family...

fingerprints and prayers

Hi, i would love for you to pray about our fingerprints.. since we moved.. KS is a state that requires a KBI and local background check and fingerprints... in order for our SW to do a little paragraph saying we moved and our house is fine to bring a child into... not that we haven't done this before.. okay I am submitting to the "rules" and going to get fingerprinted... I have had a bad attitude about going through so much again just for a paragragh (she needs all the certificates, work letter, financial letter, fingerprints, 5 page info sheet on us.. and more..) it is hard for me to not just say "look at our homestudy- it is all in there". I want drew home and I will give her everything she wants but it is so frustrating. ugh. So perhaps I should ask for prayer for my attitude.
Good news, our fingerprints were FREE at the military post we are at :O) bad news.. cop didn't like the one on my finger.. but said to send it off anyway- YIKES.
So my prayer would be for the prints for Bob and I to work the first time and for the checks to come back quickly.It appears that TA's are coming in on day 70ish. That puts us a month and a half away - another prayer :O). We are on day 34 of our wait from our LID. And day 50ish from LOI. I tend to go with the flow and think it will be counted from LID.

Thanks everyone for your awesome prayers. AND thanks for blessing us through our Chip-in!